1965-02-05 - Not Edible
Summary: Elf is on the menu! The elf, however, disagrees.
Related: If there are no related logs, put 'None', — please don't leave blank!
Theme Song: None
kai reno lambert lamont morbius 

Kai comes back into the courtyard rather quickly, casting a glance over his shoulder. "Lambert," he calls, "I'm sorry to bring trouble into your house of baklava, but this jackass is following me." There's someone in the main restaurant looking around, who has just spotted a glimpse of golden hair disappearing into the courtyard. The man's a rough-looking guy, craggy-faced with a slightly protruding underbite and elongated canines. At least he's leaving the other patrons alone. For now.

Reno was curled up in a bundle scribbling in a heavy journal someone helped him acquire. Looking up at Kai's exclaim Reno did the bravest thing he could. He stashed his book and folded back into a bird to hide. Yup. Nothing to see here. He swipped his wings and squaked a Craaaaawk?" to Kai curiously.

Without too many people out in the courtyard, Lambert is actually sitting out here doing something he should not be. Having a quick sip from his special reserve. The kitchen has been driving him extra bonkers recently, what with a problem with his serving boy, Sam. See, Lambert might be a terrible flirt, but he is very careful not to flirt with any employees. Marcie is safe. Same is safe. He just never, er, expected any of them to flirt with _him_ openly. Where a customer might see. So he is sitting out there, and blinking up as Reno disappears "A jackass?" asks Lambert "Does he look like my cousin?"

Inside the restaurant is complex to move through. It is cramped, with blue and white table cloths, and with vases of flowers. With heat. Out here are fireplaces, which stop people from freezing, and which also provide ample confusing shadows and light. Marcie is busy trying to offer the intruder a seat, and coughing, gesturing at the fangs.

"Some troll-looking bastard," Kai says, and without missing a beat he leaps onto a table, his foot lighting up on the space just to the side of the journal, and then he vaults onto the wall to crouch there. "Hello, crow," he says to Reno. He settles into wait, a dim nimbus of silverblue bathing him in what looks like moonlight. It gives him an ethereal, spirity look.

The intruder grunts at Marcie and points to the courtyard. "I'm going there," he informs her in a gravely voice. He's in a greaser's t-shirt and jeans, though his hair is truly greasy, hanging in limp strands. "Don't get in my way." He is in pursuit, damn it.

Reno saluted as a bird does: standing up taller with a flick of tail feathers. His head wobbles to, fro, and to again from side to side watching Lambert handle this one. The crow spake! "Kai… what'chu do, dude?" Why he doesn't always is its own conundrum.

"Chef's back there," says Marcie, crisply. Sam might have skeddaddled out of the way, but Marcie is a single mother in the 60s. Marcie takes absolutely no crap - and also knows that she is her son's only protector in this world. She adds "He doesn't like people messing with his restaurant." But she steps out of the way, and she glares, and mentally curses Lambert for not having a phone.

The chef himself stands up, and he takes off his chef's hat and apron, hanging them up and shaking out his waggly goat-elf ears. He glances at Kai "You were a thief? How the heck do you hide, damnit? Reno? Do you might taking off and seeing from above if there are any other folk aroun'?" Lambert folds his arms. Chef about to chef.

Kai tells Reno, "For once, I'm innocent of all but being born." He gives Lambert a wounded look. "My parents are thieves, not me." And yet their crime is his crime, the stigma carrying over. An elf can't catch a break.

On the other side of the wall, two more of the almost-tusked 'men' gather, looking up with leering grins. The one in the restaurant comes into the courtyard and tells Lambert flatly, "Hand over the ljosalfar and no one gets hurt." He peers past the chef to Kai. "You're surrounded little morsel. Heh heh heh."

Reno took these things very seriously. FOr one his buddy was in need fo help and since that alone was not enough to motivate the bird to be endangered? Well teh man asking had an endless supply of cheese. That… that will do it. Without questioning it the bird flew around the other side and to teh front of the restaurant narroying being whapped with a door. "Ack! …um… Caw!" Way to play it cool Crow. He did a circle about and flew back to perch on Kai's shoulder. Seee? Something that resembled solidarity. "Yeah there's like these four dudes comin up the sidewalk by this pretty green Cadillac. That yours? Hey can I drive it later I got this gal I kinda wanted to ask out, ya know? An' I was htinkin meeeeybbe if I like had a car she'd at least talk to me. I dunno."

Lambert regards Kai a little dryly. All that missing baklava counts for something, Kai! But, never mind. Lambert wrinkles his nose at the almost-tusked man. As he himself is almost-horned. And after a moment, he says "The special of the day is rare beef with olives. I do not serve ljosalfar, but why don't you sit down? Have some wine. On the house!" One ear flicks back to the bird, but then Lambert is nodding, and he says "All of you can come in, eh? We have a great menu!"

Then there's Lamont, who is presumably there to pick up something to take home. He's dressed very casually for him - dark pants, white dress shirt, gray topcoat and hat. But his expression is wary, having overheard some of that exchange.

Kai struck a rather badass pose, crouched on the wall, ready to spring, a crow on his shoulder, shimmering in silverblue light. Otherworldly, regal. "Balls," he says. He scowls at Tusky over there addressing him. "Oi, trollkin, get lost. I'm nobody's appetizer."

The trollkin licks his lips and tells Lambert, "I'll take raw elf instead." He cracks rather large, gnarled knuckles. His fingers are tipped in claws. Claws for rending. "Look at 'im gleaming, like that'll stop us." Still, the moonlight coming off the elf gives him pause. Briefly. He tries to shoulder past Lambert. "I'll get him myself. He won't be troubling you anymore."

Kai touches fingertips to his pendant. It uncollapses into a pair of nasty looking knives.

Elmo goes home.

Reno fwipped a wing out at Kai's shin where he perched. The crow looked up to him and warned, "Hey, like when in Rome and all that, but we promised no business business back here. An' this guy? He look like serious business. Maybe we mind our own business and let… maybe..> Bert let that guy mind his unless… Kai you take shit that ain't yours man? Cause if so that's wrong….also I can prolly get you a fair deal if you's tryin to unload any of it. I still know a couple guys." NOT HELPING RENO!

Lambert is not as otherworldly as many, but he is a solid sort, and he says "No bringing in other food!" Restaurant rules, people, restaurant rules! A glance at those clawed hands, and the chef pulls himself up to his not impressive height. He is bulky though. "All trolls out!" He declares, and attempts to pick the man up and throw him into one of the nearby walls. So much for no business business!

"Excuse me," says Lamont, with a particular edge of command to his voice, as he takes in the scene. But whatever attempt to defuse the situation before it gets to fighting….goat's temper is up. "Oh, dear," he says, mildly. He does not, however, go for the gun beneath his coat. He'll have to see if troll minds can be rolled like human ones.

"They want to eat me!" Kai squeaks at Reno. "I didn't take nothin!" He calls over to Lambert, "I am not outside food! I'm not food!" Curse his deliciousness.

"Elf meat is the sweetest," the troll tries to explain, but he's hoisted up. "Don't let him get away," he yells out, and the trolls on the other side of the wall start to huck rocks, empty bottles, and chunks of broken asphalt in an attempt to knock Kai off the wall. "Ljolsalfar," they taunt, "come down, come down, ljolsalfar."

"Uh oh," Kai says. "Take wing," he tells Reno, then he launches himself off the wall, back onto a table, his knives at the ready.

It turns out troll minds can be rolled. These creatures are more than half human anyway. Just not human enough not to eat people.

|ROLL| Reno +rolls 1d20 for: 10

|ROLL| Kai +rolls 1d20 for: 6

Reno was here to protect Kai. BOLDLY the Crow stepped sideways and said "None shall Pa-AAAAH!" Yeah that asphault got large quick. Take wing he did! Someday the Great Gonzo will emulate and if Eno ever lives long enough he will be so flattered. Right now he was working on not being so flattened. "Kai you on you own amigo!" So much for bravery. Hey he tried.

|ROLL| Lambert +rolls 1d20 for: 1

Lambert attempts to toss the troll sideways - or at least the creature which is rather like him. More than half human, but still a monster, in their own way. Whatever, let the guy bounce where he can! Lambert then realises people are assaulting his restaurant "Oh my _God_!" he explodes in rage, and turns. Instinct drives the satyr, so he leaps around, fleet of foot, and dashes to attempt to headbutt wherever that attack is coming from. Through the wall it may be.

|ROLL| Lamont +rolls 1d20 for: 1

This is an utter misfire. The mind magic intended to make the troll roll over and run away in terror….just makes Lamont invisible to those watching. He might as well have blown out like a candle - suddenly he's imperceptible, and his attempts to attract the creature's attention are utterly useless.

|ROLL| Kai +rolls 1d20 for: 11

"Thanks, mate!" Kai says when Reno says he's on his own. Still, he can't really blame the crow. Besides, he's standing here with a pair of knives that give him combat awareness because they're magical as hell.

The trollkin outside have swarmed, the four approaching joining th two already there. Six gravelly voices cheer as Lambert slams his head into the wall. Yesss, break down the wall! There's tasty elf on the other side!

Meanwhile, Lamont disappearing does get the leader trollkin's attention, but then he shakes it off and makes a lunge for Kai. "Come here, you little pest!" he snarls.

Kai slashes with his knives, keeping the creature at bay. "Stop trying to eat me!"

|ROLL| Reno +rolls 1d20 for: 12

Reno tried! He's only a foot tall,a nd honestly not much more impressive as a people. "Stop telling them to bite you when you taunt them, Kai! Truss the chicken nugget here, it don't go good for us!" There was a flapping and then? He actually dove at teh closest Troll, feet first to rake at its eyes. Would this harm teh troll? Likely not but hwat he was hoping for was maybe to buy Kai and Bert some time to, ya kow, likely save his feathered butt in a moment.

*CRUNCH*. Lambert hits the wall, and he bounces off, shaking his head, a bit dazed. Hitting solid rock - and putting a big crack in it - is different from headbutting someone else "What happened to Lamont -" Lamont has vanished. Lambert growls, and then looks up to the heavens "Forgive me," he says to something, and he turns back and picks up one of his beehives. A beehive in winter is certainly less heavy, but no less irritable. Lambert turns to the edge of the courtyard, and clambers up a few barrels, trying to get to where he can see over the wall.

He has vanished, to his own bemusement. That is not at all what he was intending to do. And it's sticking, despite his attempts to drop it. So…there's nothing to do but take advantage. HE draw his pistol, but doesn't fire. Instead, Lamont reverses it, all the better to sneak up on the nearest troll and try and brain it with the pistol butt.

|ROLL| Lamont +rolls 1d20 for: 16

|ROLL| Kai +rolls 1d20 for: 9

The troll within the courtyard yells out as the carrion bird goes for his eyes, and he brings up an arm to shield himself. The surprise of it knocks him off balance, and he staggers back. It gives Kai a break, whose slashing has kept the creature from moving in for a decent swipe. It doesn't hurt that the elf poings about like popcorn in a skillet. He really is frustrating if you're trying to hit him.

Smack! The butt of the gun hits the trollkin in the back kof the head and he goes down in a heap. He groans, teetering on the edge of consciousness. Thick head that bastard's got, but he's down, and another smack should do it.

As one, each trollkin face on the other side of the wall goes into an expression of alarm when the beehive is brandished. Their cheering stops, and they start to back up. "We don't want no honey," says one of them. "We just want elf. Come on, man, when are we gonna get another chance to eat elf?" They keep backing off as they appeal to Lambert. Come on, man. Just a little nibble of elf, is that so wrong to ask for?

|ROLL| Lambert +rolls 1d20 for: 11

"Burn rubber, sugar tits!" yells a very angry Lambert, who overhead throws his lovely, handmade wooden beehive down at the trolls. So the funny thing about bees is that beekeepers handle them on warm days because _less_ bees are in the hive. On a cold evening? _All_ the bees are in the hive. Everything smashes. Everywhere on the other side of the fence, though this is going to spread. And be very sticky.

Bee grenades. Poor bees! Lamont….still effectively invisible, reaches over and gives the troll another smack on the temple. All the better to make sleepytime a long term thing. Then he's trying to vault the wall before it tumbles down…and he does keep in training, despite his age. Lamb's about to get an unseen reinforcement.

Bees! Bees!!! Angry bees rise up in a cloud of buzzing pissiness. They swarm around the trolls, blaming them for this. Honey drips off the woeful creatures, and they scatter, running in circles, swatting at their heads and yelling. On the upside, they're not trying to get at Kai anymore. On the downside, attacking them involves getting close to angry bees. So angry.

Kai stares. He hops from one table to the next, as if the ground is lava, and scrabbles to the roof for a better view of what's going on. His wonder-filled features harden as his brow knits, and he calls down, "That's what you get!"

|ROLL| Lambert +rolls 1d20 for: 15

Reno was… og god was the crow crying? "Madre de Dios those bees is big, man! What are you doing!?" THat was some… wellt aht was some flapping. It wasn't until teh failbirb was a bit free of the chaos and had a chance to calm down that a new concern took over him. "Hey guys? Guys this ain't the climate for them. THey gonna be okay? LIke in the cold and stuff cause I'm thinkin they ar egonna need some little sweaters in a minute here."

While the wall is crumbling down, Lambert is apparently pretty light on his hooves. He bounces back and forth, ready to go into it, his ears firmly yanked down to keep bees out of sensitive tissue. He has, however, been stung plenty of times as a beekeeper, so he watches this all warily "…where's Reno? Lamont - Kai, don't make them angrier! Oh God, my _restaurant_!" By now, guests inside are begining to look at the chaos that is happening outside, and Sam is choking "Now, everyone, settle down!"

Lambert asides to Reno, still irked by it all "No. They're dead, even if they don't know it. The hive's integrity is gone."

It's an advantage, though one fading - Lamont's starting to blink in and out of perceptibility. So there's a bizarre strobe of violence, as he scrambles over the wall and wades in on the troll creatures, still using the pistol butt as a bludgeon.

The trollkin succumb to bees and Lamont's bludgeoning. Two fall unconscious, another staggers about, and the other three take off. Not even succulent ljolsalfar is worth this kind of punishment! Bees mill about. Kai perches on the roof still, wary about coming down while there's still a trollkin in the courtyard, unconscious but alive. "Aw, Lambert. I'm sorry about your hive."

Where was Reno? Oddly? Trying to move furniture out of the way. A napkin holder here, a fork over there. Oh that chair took effort. Hey it might look like a mess but if he could help Lambert recouperate financial loss by having less smushed? Hey man, he was raised around pawn shops. If anyone knew that nickles and dimes added up with was one Reno Cordova. You're welcome sir. You may say thank you in cheese later. We cool.

"It's okay," says Lambert, honestly rather sad "I'd rather that than see a person get hurt." The wall has a hole and a crack…and Lambert has a headache. One horn is wearing a little bit of mortar, like a jaunty hat. The skin near them is a bit bloody, and Lambert then skids his view over to Lamont, who is flickering in and out…and in and out. "Ah…wh…what is happening to him?" he asks, quite nervously, as he looks around frantically. Bees! One wanders over him and there is a small 'zot!' as Lambert is stung on the arm. He waves it off, scraping the sting out with a fingernail.

But by now the courtyard is filling _up_ with customers, and there are people arriving, and someone says "Call the police!"

|ROLL| Lamont +rolls 1d20 for: 5

It takes him a moment, but Lamont fades into being like a Cheshire Cat, vanishing the pistol under his coat again. He looks a little breathless, bemused. "Having a bad night," he explains to Lamb, casually. "And I should be going." It's been a long year since he had good allies in the NYPD, and it does him no good to have attention called to himself. Though he eyes the people coming in, takes a deep breath, and does….something.

|ROLL| Lamont +rolls 1d20 for: 13

|ROLL| Kai +rolls 1d20 for: 20

|ROLL| Reno +rolls 1d20 for: 16

"No need for the police!" Kai calls. He waves his arms to get their attention, walking across the roof, then hopping down to stand on a table. Does he just not do floors? It does give him a height advantage to address the people. "What you've seen is a scene from my new play 'The Elf and the Trolls' to be performed at Smithson's Children's Theater." A bee goes whizzing past his head, then flies off. "These are highly paid actors and expensive prosthetics so have a care. Go back in the restaurant, please. We're only rehearsing."

That can't be true, can it? But he looks so confident, and the lies just roll off his tongue so convincingly, it's enough to get at least the customers on the fence to slip back into the restaurant. Some more follow them. There's even a scattering of applause. Not everyone is convinced, but many of them have actually bought his line.

Reno was good at one thing: Salesmanship. Oh yeah eating too but really he ate like a bird. GO figure. Where the charming Puerto RIcan came from is anyone's guess. He looked so erstwhile and apologetic. This play of Kai's? THIS he could back him up on. "Ladies and gents, I know, I know the acting is atrocious and needs work. Nence practice." He sighed putting two fingers to his forehead, "They broke… I can't believe they broke the wall. Please for eveyone's safety while the actors are learning their cueues please head back for their safety and yours. Thank you. Hey, nice coat guy, that cashmere?"

"Do you have to -" says Lambert to Lamont, but then he coughs, and looks around for his chef's hat. A pause, and he is tugging it on again, noticing Reno doing a good job "Oh, thankyou," he says distractedly, and then just stares at Kai in outright shock as that hella convincing utter untruth comes rolling out of his golden mouth. How does he _do that_? That is madness! And then Reno is making it work. Lambert just glances down at the man on the ground - well, troll, and crouches. He throws the man's arm over his shoulder and lifts him with surprising ease, heading out behind the broken wall.

Lamb is not the only one stunned by Kai's ability. Monty's standing there, lips parted….and then he looks to Lambert. "No, i can stay and help, I think." For values of 'not sure what to do' kind of help.

Kai claps his hands as Lambert hauls the trollkin toward the wall. "That's looking great," he says, just going with it."You guys are really coming along." Then he's shooing people back inside. "There we are, thank you for your interest. Enjoy your meal!" When the crowd has dispersed, Kai goes over to Reno and clasps him in a hug. "By Odin's beard," he says. "We did it." Then he looks around at the courtyard, wincing as he sees the collapsed wall. He walks toward it cautiously, mindful of the trollkin on the other side. "What are you going to do with them?"

Reno hugged Kai. He was grinning but he was shaking. "Thaaaat was terrifying." He tacked on genuinly, "Hey, I'm glad you're alright and… whole and stuff." Looking down he blushed a bit under the approval but thought about the question, "Heeey Bert? Maybe, ya know, get em some ice and a gyro? I mean yous a good cook. Maybe get them cravin somethin else?" So altruistic to think all problems were solvable with food. "Or, ya know, call one of them wiggly finger guys to help them get home. They stay in New York and eeeeh well I grew up here. They'll ahve problems. Ain't always the nicest place."

By this point, Lambert has a knee on the trollkin. Everything just outside the wall is pretty covered in bees and honey. Anyone even semi conscious is probably trying to run as far away as possible. Lambert says "He was gonna eat you, Kai." He eyes the unconscious trollkin on the ground, and then he lifts his head up and he nods to Reno "I'll get all my customers free - what, these guys?" Lambert shakes a head, all delicate-like "No, Reno. No, they were gonna hurt friends of mine. I don't real like that. Monty? In the garden shed there are my bolt cutters. Don't you worry, Reno, I ain't gonna kill him. I'm just gonna make it harder for him to eat people."

"Wiggly finger guys," Lamont says, drily. "I know the head honcho on that front but I rather suspect he's too busy to come help with this mess." He does, however, go to get the bolt cutters and hand them to Lambert.

Kai says, "I don't even know what he'd make of all this," Kai says. He hangs back, giving himself distance from the trollkin. Even unconscious, they're still a bit scary when one is on the menu. "Yeah, make it harder for them to eat people," he says. "They're lucky you're letting them live." He shivers, just a little adrenalin burnoff. His knives have been collapsed into the pendant at his neck once more. He folds his arms over his chest. "I'm tired of being edible."

Reno was sucha sympathetic heart even for things that tried to chew on him. He couldn't help it. WHen the words bolt cutters and make it harder to eat people entered the same sentance? Well the olive skinned man paled a bit. Smoothly he slid in there, "Hey ya know my Primo is gonna be gettin back in a bit and I think I'm … gonna leave you to cleanin up. You need me, Kai? I'll be at the apaprtment. Ring me up> Weird guy in teh coat? Nice style and um… Bert I pay you tomorrow for the cheese." He went and fetched his book and was out like a trout. Nopenopenoenopenope he did not want to know what clean up and insurance policies involved!

"Everyone's edible," says Lambert, who takes the bolt cutters from Lamont "Funny," he says curiously to him "I thought you were going to stop me." But he is not! And Lambert is very, very strong. The bolt cutters meet with sharp, then edges, but are heavy further back, and with a 'snip' and a 'crack', Lambert goes around relieving any unconscious or easily pinned trollkin of their tusks. As Reno leaves, Lambert says "I'm not gonna take money from that lil' guy!"

Lamont can't help but wince at that, but doessn't object at the impromptu dentistry. Congratulations, Lamb, you've made the Shadow flinch. Well done.

|ROLL| Kai +rolls 1d20 for: 3

Kai is less staunch even than the Shadow. He grimaces and slinks further away. Each crack makes him cringe. It's not sympathy, not really. In another fight, he would've killed them. He just doesn't kill people who are in no position to fight back. He doesn't try to stop Lambert from his bolt-cutter dentistry. He just doesn't want to watch it.

So the restaurant has emptied out. Something happened. Something that has left the destruction of one of Lambert's hives all over the back alley, bees dying angrily in the chill, honey wasted. Out there are a couple of trollkin who are unconscious, and Lamont is flinching, and Kai is slinking away as Lambert…well, as the genial satyr-kin uses a pair of bolt cutters to clip out their tusks. One by one. Finished, he pockets the bloody collection and turns back, and blinks at the others "…what," says Lambert "…you should see what the Maenads would have done."

If there weren't witnesses, it's entirely likely Lamont would've put them down like mad dogs. "You should keep those," he directs Lambert, pragmatically. "I don't know what those can be used for, but it has to be something."

Kai watches from his distance, inside the disheveled courtyard. The wall has crumbled in one place. "It's just the sound," he tells Lambert. "Brrr." He nods to Lamont's words. "Yeah, keep them. They're your trophy." To the unconscious, honeyed trollkin, he spits, "That'll teach you to try to eat me. Go get a sandwich like a normal person." Irritable elf is irritable.

The restaurant is…closed? Morbius stares at the sign in front of the building, frowns, and stubbornly walks around to the alley running along the courtyard. Hands still in his pockets, Morbius takes a short rushed jog, he hops between the alleyway's walls and glides to a nearly effortless looking hop to the top of the courtyard's wall, nearly silent. Voices weren't difficult to discern, which lead him to believe it was open, just not to the public normie masses. Not that the vampire didn't have a sense of entitlement that lead him to walking into people's private spaces sometimes, anyway. Standing upright on the courtyard's wall, he hums, "Good lord, what is he? Is it a 'he'?" A cautious glance and look away from Kai, most of his attention focuses on Lambert.

"Might work well as an ingredient in some sort of wine," agrees Lambert, who then cleans up the bolt cutters and puts them away. The injured trollkin…well, he drags the bodies to the outside of the alley and says "They'll get up and sod off. They look like they can handle the chill - oh, Doctor Morbius!" He pauses, midway through dragging out people "Yes, they are 'hes'. Also, assholes," he says, and drops them, then trots back inside lightly to the others. Lambert says "They attacked Kai! Right in my restaurant! They're lucky they aren't dead. Kai, how are you feeling? Actually, I think I have a headache."

Lamont turns a cool look on Morbius, and nods politely. But that's all the greeting he gives…and he looks as if he'll be fading out in a moment. For his player is.

"Hello, Dr. Morbius," Kai says, polite but a little downtrodden. Wilted. His moonglow has faded, leaving him just sad and a little affronted. "They were going to eat me," he says. "Lambert wouldn't let them. Him, Lamont, an Reno drove them back. I gave them a little what-for, too." Doleful eyes turn to Lambert. "I'll help you replace the hive. I feel really bad about it."

'They attacked Kai!'

Morbius' crimson gaze mutely flickers between Kai and Lambert. He waits patiently for the uncomfortable realization to sink in. Then he remembers who he's talking to and gives up on that elephant. "Sounds terrible." Hopping down from the wall to the courtyard, his coat flairs out around him and somehow he seems to float just a little, dropping slower than gravity would normally allow. Turning to Lamont, there's a polite incline of his head as well. "Lamont. Pleasure to see you. Kai, hello again, sir. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience you were put through. Curse your deliciousness." His attention turns to the ruined hive and the dead bees wasting away. A frown touching his expression. "That's atrocious. Lambert, I'm so sorry for your loss."

Lambert says to Morbius "They were gonna eat - " He pauses, and after a moment, he says "Look, they came in a big group as a bunch of hunters and were gonna rip him apart in my restaurant. For fun. Your thing is…not quite. The same sort of thing. You know?" And then Lambert puts his hands on his hips, regarding the beehive he turned into a grenade "Hmm. Well, it can't be helped. I'm sorry over the hive, but people are more important, and that's that. I should call a stonemason to get my wall fixed, and I think I need to take some aspirin. Monty, do you mind going to Strange and telling him about this in case I need to talk to police later?" He glances at Kai, too.

Kai offers Morbius a weak but amused smile when his deliciousness is cursed. "At least it's a small band," he says, of the trollkin. "Gods only know what they're doing in Midgard." He gives Lambert the full brunt of the biggest sad blue eyes that were ever sad. Morbius gets caught up in the blast radius, too. "I should probably head home, but I'm going to get you a new hive, I promise." To Morbius, he adds, "You're not even in the same class as these guys. They've got none."

None the less, there is a gentle frown of sympathy in Kai's direction, inclining his head deeply with poised and pressed modesty to both him and Lambert as they quickly put a crowbar of difference between him and the trolls. Brushing his hair behind one ear as he looks up again. "Yes, what /are/ they, if I may ask? From off-world like yourself, Mister Kai? And what will become of them? Do you need help disposing of them?" Offering by insinuation. Full of questions!

Lambert says "I'm quite happy if they just wake up and leave by themselves. Sans tusks. Let 'em try again when I'm around, and I'll take off more of them." He moves back to Kai, and he pats his back, and he says "Why, just you go rest." There is a pause, and Lambert says quickly "Though if you can get Niflheim bees or something unusual, let me _know_, okay? That would be amazing!" Nodnod! And then he moves back, fidgeting around in his open kitchen before coming out when some white pills and some wine. Quite a _lot_ of white pills "Mostly immune to drugs and poisons," he explains "This is just aspirin. I don't really know what those things are, Morbius, but they smell a bit like me - mostly human, a bit of Old Magic blood. Enough to make them Wyrd."

Kai leans into the patting. "I'll try to get you Alfheim bees," he says. He gets to his feet, stretches, and says, "They're mostly human, but they've got the blood of trolls in them. An old race, some of them ate human flesh, but they wouldn't turn down ljolsalfar. That's, um, that's me. These guys must have decided to revive the old ways." He glowers at them. "I hope ants find them before they wake up." With that said, he hugs Lambert and mumbles, "It was good to see you again, Dr. Morbius. You're always so nice to me."

Folding his hands peacefully clasped before him, Morbius nods thoughtfully while he peers at the not-quite-human hunters. Curiouser and curiouser! He holds his place while Kai prepares to take his leave, mostly because he doesn't want to risk Kai fighting off yet another chase this evening. A polite curve of a smile to the curly-headed elf. "Like begets like, Mister Kai. You have been exceptionally understanding and the picture of grace."

Lambert lobs one last bit of broken honey frame out, but then he sits down and takes aspirin and drinks wine. His forehead is a bit bruised, but certainly, he has had the better of it all "That would be great, Kai. Goodnight. Go tell Loki about the whole thing, and I just don't want to see those guys again." There is a large hole cracked in the wide of the wall that leads into the alley. Lambert rubs his sore temples "I think I might close for a couple of nights," he decides "Oh, I need to go set the kitchen to rights - did you want a bite, Morbius?"

Kai smiles at Morbius, and he takes his leave lest there be another chase situation. Mutual understanding is key. Once he's out of sight, he picks up his pace to a run. It's just not nice to run around the vampire. It begs for a chase. No, he saves beating feet for when he's sure he's alone. Elf out.

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