1965-04-16 - Rubbing Elbows
Summary: Kai and Elmo sneak into a rich-person party.
Related: None
Theme Song: None
elmo kai 


A breezy, clear spring night in New York City. On the roof of a lovely old building is a very fancy party, for charity of course. It's gauche to have a fancy party for no reason, nowadays. There are a lot of orphans in Africa and whatnot that need to be feted. At this party, there's people of Bruce Wayne, Danny Rand caliber—without all the martial arts, just the money. Long buffet tables, servers circulating with champagne and canapes, a string quartet playing. It's not unlike the party Kai made Elmo crash with him where crystalline beings appeared for drinks and dancing. Men are in tuxes, and women in long floaty dresses. The whole place smells like money and principles.


Kai has learned nothing. He's back in a partying mood, and he's in one of his fine suits, which makes him look all the younger. Still, he's a suave damn elf, and he's dragged Elmo with him again. What's the point of stopping to smell the money without someone to share it with? And Loki has his own things to do tonight. "Look, there's one of the benefactors for the gallery. I should go say hi at some point."


Elmo's own best suit has been sort of wrecked, so he's wearing one of Kai's—they're close enough in size. He kvetched about it, of course, it's not the colors or style he'd pick out for himself. But he couldn't kvetch about it hard enough to prevent Kai from dragging him along, so here he is with that look of dread on his face. "If you do that we'll get thrown out," he says, in a dire prediction.


Elmo's kvetching is like music to Kai's soul. It makes his heart sing. The more Elmo complains, the more Kai drags him along. "Why would I get thrown out?" Kai says. "These parties are made for talking to people, rubbing elbows. I could make some connections. I never would've had the chance without Loki. Well, his money anyway."


"Because we weren't invited?" Elmo grumbles, but under his breath.

A server comes by, offering champagne and asking if they'd like to enter the raffle. Elmo's learned enough by now to take the champage, but shakes his head to the raffle.


Kai takes the champagne and says, "Ooh, yes, I'd like to enter the raffle." Kai always wants to enter the raffle, man. He then asides to Elmo, "We won't get thrown out. I'm loaded." He takes a drink of champagne and looks around, on the prowl for something interesting to do. Likely to someone else.


Kai gets handed a ticket, and the server moves on.

In a small cluster of people, an older guy in an impeccable tux of gorgeous cut and fabric (Elmo is eyeing it enviously) holds court. "Unfortunately," he's saying to nodding heads, "mutants and homosexuals hide among the children we are trying to help"


Kai tucks the ticket in the breast pocket of his jacket. He glances sidelong at Elmo, then nods toward the man discussing mutants and homos. He's got a devil's glint in his eyes, and his smile is a little too bright. "I can't wait to see where this is going," he says. Then he adds, "You behave, okay? These clowns are a dime a dozen, and it's only words."


Elmo's lip curls, expression going sour. He glances back at Kai, eyes narrow. "…Okay," he says, grudgingly. Nearby, though, one of the servers yips as she touches something metal and it pops her. "…That wasn't me."

The old man keeps talking. "They're insidious, the way they creep in and corrupt our youth. It's the innocent dreams that mutants prey on. What child doesn't dream of being able to fly, or to control fire? Then, God forbid, they discover they can do something, and mutants are there to swoop in and claim them."


Kai glances at the yipping server, and he gives Elmo a look that's worse than a warning. It's heartfelt sincerity "I know you can do this," he says. Then he turns toward the old man, raising his champagne to his lips as he pretends to listen politely. Finally, he pipes up with utter politeness, "What else would happen to these children? As I understand, their mutations aren't within their control."


Elmo scowls ferociously and jams his hand in his pocket. He drifts along after Kai.

Everybody in the little group turns and looks at Kai. A couple of them seem alarmed, although most of them keep politely interested smiles. The older man lifts a finger. "Ah, thank you, young man. That's what my foundation is working on, you see. A way to correct mutations and homosexuality." He beams handsome white teeth at Kai. "But of course, we must get to the children first, before any deviants do," he adds, looking around for agreement.


Kai nods and says, "Ah, I see. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, good sir, as I've only just arrived." He takes another drink of champagne, then asks, "Would you tell me about your foundation?" He smiles, showing straight, pearly teeth. "Every little thing, I'm dying to hear it." He glances at Elmo sidelong with a wicked little glint.


"Frank Shaw," says the guy, offering his big square hand. "Oh, I'm afraid I can't go into too many details at the moment, Mister…" He raises his eyebrows, cueing Kai for his name. "But there's plenty of literature avilable."

"Frank here wants to solve all our social problems," another guy says, kissing up. "Poverty, deviant behavior, crime, you name it."


Kai shakes Mr. Shaw's hand, and he's got a firm handshake for a man of his stature. He's employed illusions upon his eyes and his hair hides his ears. He looks human. A damn pretty young man, but just a man. "Alfsson," Kai says, "Gerhard Alfsson. I'd love to see whatever literature you can spare, of course." He flashes a smile at the suckup. "Poverty and crime as well? Who could argue with wanting to end poverty?"


Behind Kai, Elmo rolls his eyes. A young woman suddenly approaches him and starts chatting him up. She offers her hand and he shakes his head, mumbling something, hunching up.

"Well, nobody, I hope," says the kissup guy, with a big fake smile.

"Poverty causes a high rate of mutation," Frank says, frowning majestically. "Abolishing poverty will lower mutations significantly. It's the old two birds, one stone trick."


"Ah," Kai says, "I think I get it. Safer, more equitable conditions will reduce whatever trauma causes a mutant gene to trigger?" He tilts his head, and he smiles. Such a warm and curious young man. "And what about these 'deviants' as you call them. Do you think they can be rehabilitated? They are, after all, victims of circumstance."


"Frequently chemical spills or radiation cause mutation, and it's the poor of our nation who are most exposed," Frank says. "Unsafe or unscrupulous companies dump their waste in poor areas. Like the accident that blinded a young boy, a while back. Of course, he didn't mutate, but it's a certainty someone else did." He shakes his leonine head over the state of things.

The young woman trying to be friendly at Elmo raises her voice an octave, insisting on something. He's sidling away, nervous.


"Of course," Kai says. "I see what you're saying, Mr. Shaw." He maintains that pleasant smile, and he says, "I'll keep an eye out for that literature. It looks like my friend needs a little help." In a lower tone, he adds, "He's terminally shy. The poor man hates that I drag him to these things."


A ripple of laughter goes around, at Elmo's expense. "Well, the best of us can be frightened by women, sometimes," Frank says, with a twinkle. "Good to meet you, Gerhard."

The young woman appears to be trying to get Elmo to shake her hand, which she's holding out at him. He's hunched up and frozen, looking at Kai for help.


"And you, may I call you Frank?" So very personable. He doesn't wait for an answer, though. He makes his way over to Elmo and the young woman. "Sorry about that," he tells Elmo, "I just needed to step away for a moment." The hand the woman is offering is taken by Kai, and he shakes amiably. "Enchanted, madame, Gerhard Alfsson." He shoulders Elmo out, just being Mr. Personality (and putting himself between him and her).


Elmo not so subtly sags in relief. The young woman accosting him is, up close, very very young, probably still in high school. Surprised, she lets Kai interfere, and then dimples at him. She's freckly and hasn't bothered trying to cover it up. "Hello, Gerhard Alfsson," she says, charmed. "I was trying to introduce myself, but at least I can meet you. I'm Kate Shaw."


"Kate Shaw," Kai says, as though he were speaking the name of an angel. "You'll have to excuse my friend. He's shy. Are you any relation to Frank?" He brings her knuckles to his lips and presses briefly, maintaining eye contact. "It's such a pleasure to meet you." He keeps himself firmly lodged between Elmo and the woman.


"I guess he must be shy!" Kate says, sounding a little put out. She's cute and probably unused to people not giving her what she wants. "Are you shy?" she calls past Kai's shoulder at Elmo. He gives her a narrow look and she laughs. "I think that's a yes. Of course, I'm Frank's granddaughter. You must be one of the donors?"


Kai smiles broadly when Kate asks Elmo if he's shy. "Now myself, I'm not shy at all." He releases her hand and switches out his empty glass for two full ones as a server passes by. He offers one to Kate. "I've come tonight to see if the cause is a good social investment. I'm impressed, your grandfather seems to have it all figured out."


"I can tell," Kate says winsomely. She takes a quick look around, and then takes the champagne. "I'm not really supposed to have it," she confides in a whisper, then sips. Then makes a face. "Ugh, it's so bitter." But keeps sipping. She sighs and smiles at mention of her grandfather. "He does," she agrees, neutrally. "I'm here to learn from him."


Kai winks at Kate and says, "What Papa doesn't know…" He raises his glass to her in a wordless toast. "And what have you learned?" he asks. "Do you think he's too harsh? I'm still unclear what he intends to do with the deviants. Do you suppose he means to rehabilitate them?" He glances back at Elmo to make sure he's okay.


Elmo seems okay, if flustered. He comes back now that Kate isn't demanding he touch her, but he sticks close to Kai, lest she get any more ideas.

"He wants to cure them," Kate says, neutral, with a fake little smile. "He's been curing homosexuals and he thinks it can work on mutants."

"Curing queers?" Elmo asks, trying to rein his tone in, and not having a lot of success. "How do you cure a queer?"


Kai's brows lift. Intrigued, to be sure. "You don't believe they can be rehabilitated?" he asks. No judgment here, sweet Kate. Just a debonair young man and his shy friend indulging in a little natural curiosity. He nods to Elmo and looks to her, translating in a sweeter tone, "What methods does he employ?"


Kate shrugs, a little hitch of her bare shoulders, and looks around again. "It works, but it works on men who have behavior problems. I don't know why he thinks it can work on someone who has different genes." She sips at her champagne with a grimace. "I like it better when there's strawberries," she says. "I don't really know. He and Dad say it's not correct for me to know. I've met a few of their patients, they don't really *seem* like they, you know, do those things," she whispers the last few words. Elmo abruptly drains his own champagne.


"Perhaps he means to teach them to reject their powers," Kai says. "Pardon me, abilities? How are we defining these mutations?" He glances to Elmo. Then back to Kate. "Terribly sorry about the bubbly, luv. It's an aquired taste. Tell me, what do you think should happen?" He adds with a whisper, "We won't tell."


Kate tosses her head. "I don't know, it doesn't seem like that big a deal to me. We wouldn't have the X-Men if there weren't mutants, right? They save people all the time. Would we just…not have them? Superman can't do everything. There's bad mutants, but there's bad regular people, too."

"Sure, regular people," Elmo says, with growing irritation. She gives him a look like, what's your problem?


Kai glances at Elmo. "Who would want to be regular, ami? I've always strived for spectacular, myself." He smiles at Kate. "I see what you're saying. Really, what have they done except been born extraordinary? Then again, I'm stll not sure exactly what the big deal with homosexuals is. They're not doing anything to anyone but themselves." He winces as he says, "I'm sorry if that's indelicate, luv."


"It is indelicate," Kate says, archly, then giggles. "My folks don't let me talk about it. It's racy. Men…doing things, with other men? Gross!" She flushes a little, getting away with talking about it to a handsome stranger (and his dumb friend but whatever). "I mean you're kind of right, though? As long as they don't do it in the streets."

Elmo's got a look on his face like he's intently focused on something not here. Like if he visualized schematics hard enough he can escape this conversation.


Good Elmo. Kai will hook him up with some weed later. For the time being, he reassures Kate, "We won't breathe a word of it. A smart young woman like you, though, surely you've thought about these issues and have something to say. It's understandable. And of course, no one wants to see anyone do that kind of nonsense in public no matter who they are. Again, forgive me for being indelicate. You seem like a woman who can handle herself." Calling her a woman when she's just a teenager. Then again, he doesn't look much older, himself.


Kate wrinkles her nose at Kai. It's adorable. "Don't try to get in good with the boss's daughter!" she scolds him, then laughs. "At least you pretend to care what I think. That's a nice change." She flirts her eyes at him, smiling behind the champagne glass. "Here's my real secret. I don't care about any of this. I'd rather be at a bonfire right now."

"Amen to that," Elmo mutters.


Kai's smile broadens. "Granddaughter," he says. "And I do care. I see Frank up there, and he's got a plan. He's thought about this and he's got his stage performance down to an art. Then I see you, and there's more truth in your eyes than in a single word I've heard him speak." He winks, lowering his voice as he adds, "Truth be told, I'd rather be at a bonfire, too. Still, it's important to be seen."


"That's how he makes his money," Kate says. "People will pay anything to make their son normal again." She glances, just very briefly, at Elmo, like she's wondering about him. He looks away, mouth curling down. "Anyway," she goes on brightly, "that's very nice of you to say, Mr. Elfson. No, that's wrong. I got it wrong, didn't I? Shoot! You just *look* like an elf."


"I'm on the lam from the North Pole," Kai says. He presses the illusion a little further. It must be a trick of the light. He's fey, sure, but those eyes are merely a startling blue, no visible flecks of moonlight to be seen. Gently, he adds, "It's all right. You can call me Gerhard if you like. May I call you Kate?" He snags another champagne and presses it into Elmo's hand. "I think a normal child would bore me. Maybe I'll change my mind if I'm ever a father."


"It must be your chin," Kate decides. "Elves must have chins like that." She grins at him, cheerfully. "Normal is boring, isn't it? This whole place is full of normal people and it's SO boring." Elmo takes the champagne with a grateful look. Kate watches him do it, as if he's a curious specimen, then her hand flies to her mouth. "Your hands! Oh my gosh!"

"What?" Elmo says, blankly, and looks at his hand. To him it looks normal, but to a debutante, it looks like he's tried to hand feed a paper shredder.

"You're all cut up," Kate says, sounding genuinely distressed.

"Nah, ain't nothin'." Elmo abandons the champagne to shove his hands back in his pockets, turning red.


Kai glances to Elmo to catch a glimpse of his hand. "My friend here works with his hands," he tells Kate, "and he works hard, maybe a little more than he should." He smiles at her again. See? He's not worried, so surely there's nothing to worry about. He takes Elmo's champagne just as he finishes his own, and he drinks from it smoothly. "He's all right." He then whispers, "I haven't always been rich. I've had to work with my hands before, too." Sure. 'Work.'


Kate looks wide-eyed at Elmo, who confirms with a shrug, "Yeah. I'm a mechanic."

She's blushing now. "That was so rude of me, I'm sorry, Mister, ah, you never told me your name! Oh, I'm embarrassed." She fans herself, trying to cool her cheeks. "My mother would kill me—aaand here she comes."

A stately lady with a haircut that in later years Laura Bush will make famous comes sweeping over. "Katie, are you behaving yourself?" she says, her smile meaningful. "Yes Mummy," Kate says, chipper and fake as hell. "This is one of Pop-pop's donors…to-be," she tags on, remembering Kai said he was here to scope it out. "Well," says the lady, turning sharp eyes on Kai and Elmo, "a pleasure, I'm sure. Katie, that's enough champagne for you, dear, don't you think?"


Kai inclines his head to the woman. "My fault entirely," he says, of the champagne. "Your daughter has been the very image of charm and decorum, Mrs. Shaw, I presume?" He flashes her a warm smile. "She has been telling us about her grandfather's great work." He offers his hand. "Gerhard Alfsson, it's a genuine pleasure."


This lady is cool and poised, artifical all the way down, any last remnants of authenticity carefully removed. She gives Kai her fingers in the feminine version of a handshake. "Mr. Alfsson. I'm Liz Shaw. Katie, you have already become well acquainted with, I see." She smiles at her daughter, who positively beams back, because nothing improper was being discussed, at all, ever. "You must forgive any lapses on her part. We're still teaching her how to manage events like this." She scans the rooftop over, eyes landing on servers and buffet table and guests all in turn. "She is very young."


Kai lifts her fingers to his lips. He sounds foreign, maybe it's just his way? "Please, call me Gerhard. Your Kate is as polished as silver. Not a single lapse to be seen." Those eyes positively twinkle. "I was hoping to find some literature on your father's foundation. I'm quite cautious about my social investments, you see. Lots of people claim they can deliver, but Frank seems so sincere, I'd love to get my hands on as much information as possible."


Liz Shaw bends that cool smile on Kai. "Aren't you charming," she says, as if she means it. "And socially conscious, too. Certainly, come with me." She leads the way to a table spread with brochures and glossy little books. "NORMALCY is in REACH" one says. "THE MUTANT THREAT" says another. Another, "Support the MUTANT REGISTRATION ACT: for the children".

Kate starts gathering up pamphlets until she has a whole bouquet of them to present to Kai. "I hope these help guide you to the right decision, Mr. Alfsson," she says, determined to look good in front of her mother.

"You wanna register mutants?" Elmo says, startled.

"It's an initiative my husband and father are working on passing through the Senate," Mrs. Shaw says. "All mutants would be required to register with the government. That way, we can avoid more of these…mishaps." She glances out over the glittering city.


Kai takes the offered pamphlets with great interest. He finishes his champagne in an indelicte gulp so he can free both hands to look through them. "Thank you, Kate," he says with the warmth of natural familiarity. Treat people like they're your old friends and they might start to believe it. "That's a bold proposition," Kai says. "And if it gets passed here, well, where New York goeth, so follows the rest of the nation." He's still politely interested, not committing just yet though he sounds like he just might. Meanwhile, he gleans as much personal information about these people as he can possibly find in his skimming. "Very interesting indeed."


Elmo doesn't dare act up in front of this woman; he drops his eyes, shoulders tight, but says not a word.

"Bold, perhaps," Mrs. Shaw allows, as if Kai is a little wild but his heart is in the right place. "Necessary, we believe. Mutants are dangerous. Did you know, many of them have no outward, physical manifestation? They can look just like you and me. Should we pretend someone who walks through walls is someone safe for our children to be around?" Her gaze lands on Kate, musing. "Some say there's no harm in it, but anyone would use such an…ability for crime. If you could open any door in the world, why wouldn't you? Morality doesn't apply, when a person can do things that make them less than human."


Kai's brows lift. "They can look just like you? They should hope to be so lucky." He winks at her. Wild indeed. "Although surely there are mutants who, by virtue of being raised just like the rest of us, have good hearts and good intentions? I would hate to see the innocent be persecuted for the actions of their less well-behaved counterparts."


Kate squeaks in a laugh as Kai compliments her mom. "Mr. Alfsson!" she says, "you're so forward!"

Mrs. Shaw smiles benignly at Kai. "Are you married, sir? Do you have children? If you do, you can understand the worries of a parent. Mutants could go to any high school. They could be any of your child's friends. Like homosexuals, they could be any innocent-seeming person, but they're far more dangerous. That's why," she swings right into her pitch, "the Mutant Registration Act is so important. The innocent have nothing to hide. The not-so-innocent…well, we'll finally be able to track them."

"Don't mutants got a right to live without someone keepin' tabs on 'em?" Elmo blurts, suddenly no longer able to hold it in. Mrs. Shaw gives him that cool, benign smile, too. It says nothing, gives nothing away. "One must have a license to do any dangerous thing in our society. Mutants have had free rein to do as they please, even those with terrifying abilities. Think of it as a sort of license. As long as they don't misuse it, everything is fine."


"Ah, we're in no position yet to think about children," Kai says. "I would certaintly want to protect them from the evils of the world, though, and evil can wear such a pleasing disguise." He tucks the pamplets in his suit's inner pocket for later perusal. "My friend here has a compassionate soul," he explains. "He'd hate to see innocents be harmed in the pursuit of greater justice." He clasps Elmo's shoulder. "Why don't we get you something to eat, old chap, and then we can discuss the matter?" Kate and Liz both are given a small, apologetic smile. He simply must take his friend away, though.


"Compassion is at the core of what we're doing," Mrs. Shaw says, favoring Elmo with a look like he surely means well, he can't help it that he's an idiot with a trashy accent.

"Well, bye, Mr. Alfsson, Mr., um, Mechanic," Kate says, all perk. Her mother's lips pull down juuuust slightly and she gives Kai and Kate both a very gently disappointed look. Why is Kai bringing a mechanic as his +1, and why didn't Kate notify security? Kate catches it and hastily follows up. "Mummy, there's a lady over here who—" She takes her mother's elbow and turns her away, a little desperately.

Elmo rubs his eyes. "Yeah, okay, old chap," he says, sounding depressed.


Kai heads toward the food with Elmo, and he says in a low tone, "We're going to leave, but before we do, I'm going to eat as much of their shrimp as I can." That will show them. That will show them all. Besides, he loves him some shrimp. "I'll drown my palate in cocktail sauce. Then I'm going to tell someone about all this. Someone who can throw a wrench in the cogs." He smiles crookedly. He's spoiled for choice there.


Elmo snorts, reluctantly amused. A classic reaction from him. "Jeez, I can't believe it," he mutters. "No, I can believe it. Just—" he gestures helplessly. "What do you think they're doin' to 'em?" He asks like he can't bear to know, but also can't bear not knowing.


"Nothing, yet," Kai says, keeping his tone low and conversational so if anyone looks, they're just having a nice, discreet conversation over shrimp. "This is all just fundraising and political jabber. This won't get dangerous until it gets whispered into senators' ears. I really want to strip them of their income, but that'll be tricky. Easier to raise our own. When the gallery opens, we'll see who votes with their dollar."


"A license," Elmo mutters. "A license to exist. Feh." He's skipping the shrimp, of course, and pretending like he's interested in a piece of salmon. He seems to have lost his appetite.


"It's ludicrous," Kai says. "Unenforceable. It'll target the obvious and the honest. Who are never the criminals anyway. Sure, there are baddies who need to be caught and brought down, but that's why the good ones should be free to do the self-policing that they do." He munches on another piece of shrimp, hungry for revenge and shellfish. "Don't get me started on the homos."


"You can't—" Elmo says it too loud, then lowers his voice. "You can't 'cure' that! What the hell is going on? What are they tellin' those poor guys?"


"Probably to pray," Kai says, shaking his head. "It's madness, mate. Don't try to assign any reason to it. Small, fearful minds scrabbling around in the dark, it's the human condition. Once it was witches, now it's mutants. They fear what they can't control." He manages to keep his voice low. In fact he looks rather sanguine about it all. "We should find out where their facilities are and pay their clients a little visit."


Elmo brightens up a bit. The prospect of action works wonders on his mood. "Let's do it." He sighs. "Just as I was decidin' I was gonna tell my sisters. I'm gonna bring them to the gallery opening."


"That's great," Kai says with a bright grin, interrupted only by the munching of another shrimp. He gestures with its tail as he says, "That's a brave move, Elmo. I'm so proud. You should bring them! Don't let this nonsense get you down. We'll raid their facility. A little sabotage here and there. I think I've found a new hobby."


Elmo winces with a grin, a unique Elmo expression. "Hiding's gettin' old. Rah-Rahthat's Rachelshe'll probably tell our parents, but." He shrugs. "What're they gonna do, kick me out?" He finds enough hunger to eat some of the salmon. People circulate by, chatting and laughing, Frank Shaw loudest of all. He can be heard giving snippets of his speech here and there.


"I hope I planted enough of a seed of doubt in Kate's mind," Kai says. "A little teenage rebellion would be good for her." He beams as Elmo starts to eat. That's the spirit. Deprive these people of their seafood. "You'll always have family, Elmo. You've got me, you've got your gentleman callers, and JP and whatshisface."


Elmo snickers. "No, whatsisface is Arlo's boyfriend," he says, amused for reasons he doesn't explain to Kai. He glances around, unable to help it—discussing another man's boyfriend in the middle of a bunch of people who want to cure men of having boyfriends. "I know," he adds quietly. "Thanks."


Kai just goes with this whatshisface commentary and says, "Yeah, him too." He slips some shrimp into his pocket and says, "Now, let's get out of here and find somewhere to get shitfaced. Or I'll at least try and put you on the couch for the night."


"You know just what to say," Elmo says, relieved.

The guys make their escape, heading out. When the elevator dings on the bottom floor, Elmo gets out, then looks up, at the unseen roof and party. He closes his eyes for a moment. There's a miniature explosion close by: BANG! and the power flickers, then dies out. Elmo shudders, biting his lip, then opens his eyes and grins wickedly at Kai.


Kai glances at the flickering power, and he gives Elmo a clap around the shoulders. His grin spreads, and he says, "That's my boy." He releases Elmo, the better to free a hand to unpocket and eat a shrimp. It would be hilarious if some got left in there and went bad, but they'll never get the chance. Munch munch. "Seriously, fuck those people. Except Kate. She's nice."


Elmo shakes his head over Kai caching shrimp in his damn pocket. "You're gross." Outside, it's a lovely cool spring night, and the building is the only dark one on the street. "I guess she's okay," he says, grumpy over her hassling him, "but they're gonna make her just like them soon enough."


"I like shrimp," Kai says, not even the least bit apologetic. "Come on, Sunshine. Tonight was good. We've got information, we didn't get caught, and now we know the beast by name and face." He walks down the street, just to wander while he eats. "And if they see my face when the gallery opens, it'll be classic."


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