1965-04-20 - Angry Llamas, Story at 5pm
Summary: A walk in Central Park gets interesting when a local faire loses track of their llamas.
Related: None
Theme Song: None
amber lambert kai julie bucky steve-rogers 


"Buck." Steven stops walking on the path as the first person stumbles past them. He's staring at the expanse of one of the fields ahead of them, where a crowd is beginning to scatter in small groupings, friends and families apparently finding a reason to leave the immediate area. "Are those…?" He tilts his head to one side, hands still in the pockets of his brown leather bomber jacket, complete with shearling collar.

It is. That's about twenty llamas frisking away across the grass, startled by the sudden passing over-head of a tourist plane dragging a banner. In all colors, they bound left and right, helter-skelter, clearing benches and tents within the small faire.

"…llamas?" the Captain finishes, still deciding whether or not to be amused or perplexed — or some combination of both. "…we should probably do something," he adds, looking over at his friend with a small grimace.


In all colours? Are any of those colours unnatural? Not that Lambert really has much idea of what a llama is - they were not a large part of ancient Greece. The satyrkin is currently on a jog around central park, dressed for exercise. He has a water bottle with him, and his immediate response to the arrival of a gracefully bounding quadruped is to pause, eye his waterbottle, and sniff the contents cautiously. One never knows when one's disreputable father will have decided to make one's day 'interesting'. Lambert checks his drink for any signs of hemlock or something fun like that, then says "…giant…sheep?" Somehow that does not sound right "…fuzzy deer?" he tries again, asking those around him.


Amber in New York City, y'all use the 'Joke Creator, Home Edition, subject, 'Fish Out of Water'. Of course, she's seen it on television many times. It in no way prepares her for actually being there. Anyone paying attention to her body language can tell this is a completely alien landscape. She tries to keep all 'Cool Hand Luke' about the proceedings, but it's clear she thinks the pavement might bite and the buildings might swat her like a fly. "Good Lord…..Ain't ever seen the like."
Then, to her surprise, a park, a swath of greenery amidst the browns and grays of . And stampeding llamas? Are those really stampeding llamas? Do llamas really stampede?


"Hello!" Kai says, coming up behind Steve and Bucky from god knows where. He's just about to clap them both on their respective shoulders when he blinks a few times and says, "What the everliving hell are those things?" Apparently they don't have llamas in Alfheim. He's got a little dog on a leash, and the dog goes nuts, hiding behind Kai and barking his head off. It is not an attractive dog, to be honest, and a coward on top of it. "Kevin!" Kai says in a shushing tone. Kevin's having none of it. Barkbarkbark!


"……llamas," says Bucky, utterly bemused. He's in plain clothes, hair tucked under his coat collar, the better to conceal it's length. "I think. Or else they're very tall sheep…." Thhen he grins at Kai, and chuckles at Kevin. "It's all right, boy," he tells the dog. "They won't hurt you." Then he's eyeing Steve. "What are we gonna do with 'em?"


Julie has been showing her new friend Amber around the city, and perhaps after the native Montana girl's perhaps had enough of the biggest city of the world, has pulled aside on the park road and parked, for a bit of the city's idea of open land, however largely deliberately designed by Olmstead to seem still bigger than it is. She winks as she parks, then shuts down the late-model Pontiac wagon (discreetly-modified) she'd chosen for the drive. "I kinda thought you could use a break. And somewhere over there, there's some real good pushcart pretzels. Howsabout we take a walk.


"Corral them…?" Steve suggests, even as he's breaking into a loose jog in the general direction of the fray. "If they're anything like the sheep I've seen on TV, maybe we can spook them back towards their pen?" Sunlight glints off his blond hair as he moves towards a small cluster. "Kai, good to see you," he adds, giving the Elf a quick grin. Lambert is given a once-over in passing before the Captain tilts his head. "Let's see if Kevin knows how to herd these guys?"

Even as he breaks into an easy jog, sunlight flashing from his blond hair, the llamas continue to scatter in groups of two and three. A pair rush right towards Julie and Amber, both a pale cream and both looking very perturbed. A two-some becomes a four-some as they gather and begin to run at an angle towards Bucky, Kai, Lambert, and Kevin the Best Protection Dog Ever.


Lambert can hear Kevin. Only one animal makes that noise. He turns to eye Kai with pursed lips. Kai is here? Loki has likely been liberating llamas. Say it three times fast, and he might even appear. He lifts his own hand, having spotted Julie, who he knows somewhat. And then Lambert yelps as one of the creatures just runs right through a group of kids playing football "Geez, Louise, that's dangerous -" Not normally full of the best ideas, he lifts his head as he hears someone else talk, and then he is being charged by llamas? Lambert's eyes widen, and instinctively, he lowers his head…


"Think the pretzels can wait, we got llamas incoming!", Amber replies, hopping out of the car and starting to try and sort out what to do next. Stampeding llamas, kind of a new thing for her. "Whoa! Whoa! Easy, easy!", she says, grabbing on to the nearest of the two by what she hopes is the scruff of it's neck. "Hey, HEY! Calm down now….Calm down. Calm down…"


"Yeah, Kevin, go herd them!" He takes Kevin off his lead. The dog cowers behind Kai, and as a pair of llamas rush in close, the dog tucks tail and runs to a bookstore on the edge of the park and trembles in the doorway, curled in on himself and yet barking still. Barkbarkbark! Grr! And then whining. Kai holds the abandoned leash, looks at the dog, and says, "Oh, Kevin, you'll never get to Valhalla like this." In the dog's defense, he's had to deal with zombies in this park before.


Kevin's reduced Bucky to helpless laughter. Comic relief is welcome, it's been a grim few months. Then Lamb makes that gesture, and Buck's holding out a hand to forestall him. "Don't get into a fight with 'em, Lamb," he urges, before taking off after Steve. He's as fast as the bigger supersoldier - whatever the metal arm might do for his center of gravity, it hasn't ruined his speed.


Julie is just starting to walk along, there. "See, one thing about New York is, you never know what… " And then there's beasties running at them, and a warning from Amber, saying, "Never mind the Buddhists, there's …camel-opes or something!" She just dives out of the way, and tumbles. Ironically for someone that doesn't know a llama when she sees one, she happens to have just the thing to catch one pinned up inside of her jacket. With a tearing of lining, out comes a whirl of cord and hard rubber bushings. As the other llama blows by toward traffic, she loops the home-made bolas toward the creature's legs, to entangle them of course, almost like they do in the pampas.


Left and right, llamas begin reacting to their potential captors. The two creams that bullrushed Amber and Julie are immediately neutralized. The one with a hand buried in the fine fluff of its neck seems to settle at the touch, though it sidles left and right, its head at an odd angle and making soft braying sounds. The one caught up in the bolas plops to the cement of the pathway in an ungainly spill and immediately cries out its annoyance. Long legs suck! Two down.

The group running at Kai and Lambert seems to stutter in its progress, hearing the barking of the small dog. Maybe the sound is enough to make them halt? Or maybe one of them recognizes Lambert for what he is. A brown one breaks from the group and approaches the chef and…spits in his general direction!

Steve brings up his hands and waves them around as he approaches another small group, yelling, "Hie! Hey, back! Back!" The three llamas simply turn around and begin a quick trot back towards the faire proper. Another one, splotched with black and white, lays back its ears and stands its ground. The Captain slows to a halt with hands outstretched, murmuring something nice — and then the spit! He flinches and yelps, rubbing at his face.


"But it's looking at me funny!" says Lambert to the assassin, and he eyes the llama, cautiously "I'm bigger," he tells it, in defiance of natural law. And then Steve and Bucky are off and running, and Lambert's eyes widen "Oh wow," he says "Kai, look at them g- AHHHH!" Lambert's reaction to being spat on is to wave his arms in horror, and then headbutt the llama. A sentence probably never typed before. The satyrling bounces up and smacks it in the chest like a windup toy.


Llama numbers 1 and 2, pacified, sort of. Amber, holding the animal firmly, gently edges the now semi-calmed animal out of the street and back into the park, murmuring encouragement into it's ears the whole way. "C'mon, c'mon, let's get you outta harm's way, 'kay sweetie?" she coos soothingly. "Now, you just rest yourself here 'til we get t' others sorted, 'kay? Don't do nothin' stupid, sweetie. You're all right.", she says, releasing the animal's pelt and giving it's neck a gentle rub. Amber sweeps her eyes over the situation, frowning sharply as the Mod boy headbutts another llama. "Hey!", she shouts hoarsely, "Ain't the way it's done, mister!", adjusting her hat, she moves to assist.


"Lambert, watch ou— ahahahahaha!" Kai clutches his sides and doubles over. When Lambert responds to being spat on by headbutting the llama, Kai howls with laughter. That, along with the barking nearby, might just be enough to make an enterprising llama think twice about approaching. Once the elf puts himself back together, still giggling, he approaches one of the llamas with the intent of collaring him with the leash.


Buck has his hands over his mouth to muffle that laughter. When was the last time he laughed like that? Ages and ages. He gives up, finally, and sits down on the grass, holding his sides. It's so utterly ridiculous - he's gone red in the face. "Oh, God, Lambert," he says, helplessly. "What the hell?"


Julie meanwhile, sort of glances around, since the bolas-flinging is about the extent of her herd-animal expertise, inadvertent as even that may be. However, she projects confidence toward passers-by, as she heads a bit closer to the entangled llama. The accent's all Brooklyn Italian, which along with the leather jacket may not seem so convincing, when she says, "Ay, don'worryabout it, there's professionals here," Of which, she of course does not number, but she'll follow Amber's lead and, a bit tentatively, try and calm saild llama. "Ay, there, big …guy. Howsabout we talk about it, what you think?"


When Llamas Get Angry, story at 5pm.

The llama on the receiving end of the headbutt lets out a strangled sound before stumbling backwards and immediately hightailing it back towards its proper grouping. That group? It retreats, full-speed, back to their pen. There's the sound of a whistle, something carrying and tinny, and suddenly: it's magic! Well, not magic, but it may as well seem like it. Turns out that the head herder of the group was knocked unconscious for a few minutes by an errant buffeting of escaping llamas.

The loose bunchings turn and trot back tamely, clearly expecting something good to occur — probably nibbles. This leaves one of the handlers to come untie the llama taken down by Julie's bolas and another to retrieve the llama currently being handled by Amber. Both are thanked for their assistance, and the fuzzy creatures walk along calmly beside the handlers.

Steve wipes at his face once more, realizing that he's been…basically useless, and turns in place to see Bucky collapsed on the ground and howling. "What…?" He jogs his way back over, glancing between Lambert and his friend on the ground, and then up at Kai. "What on earth, Buck?" he asks, a grin slowly forming on his face for the sheer mirroring effect of such laughter.


Lambert balls a fist up "Want some more? I got plenty!" he says to the llama, though he does say to Amber "I don't know what alien sheep things these are - I'm tired'a New York being invaded by…look. Whatever those thing -" And then FWEET, and Lambert's ears flick straight up, pushing his cap off his head "Yow - wh..loud-" says the satyrling says, and then he says to Steve "Man, your friend there must be a real comedian," he adds, pointing at Bucky "All he ever does is laugh. What were those things? One of them spat on me! _Ugh_." He toes Kai.


Amber stalks up to Lambert, removes her hat, and unceremoniously smacks him in the face with it. "That feel good to you, mister?", she growls. "You think that'd calm you down, sir?", she asks, looking like she wants to smack him again. "You don't /ever/ strike a panicked animal. Sends entirely the wrong message. You got that?"


Kai hands over the llama he's leashed. When Lambert toes him, he just grins. "You got a little something on your… he gestures to his cheek to indicate that Lambert's still got some llama spittle there. Then he goes to collect his dog from the bookstore stoop. Once the leash is reattached, he carries the beast back to the park. "Hey! Don't hit Lambert. He sort of is a panicked animal."


Julie does her best to agree with whatever the helpful llama-handler says, not quite getting the language, …or livestock. but sooner or later is on her way back to rejoin Amber, casually looping her bolas into a jacket-pocket sized coil, as she watches the llama being led away. But she does decide to back up Amber on this. "Yeah, what if that was a dinosaur or something?" She shrugs a bit, indicates the inside pocket, and adds, more quietly, "I mean, sometimes it's dinosaurs. You'd be surprised."


"Hey, hey, whoa," says Buck, getting up as he sees Amber taking Lamb to task. "He can't help himself. He's uh…." Better not pursue that line of thought. "That's a llama, Lamb," he says, before giving Steve a bemused look. The things that happen to them. At least there were neither Nazis nor zombies.


Steve scratches at the back of his neck even as he laughs softly to himself.

"I doubt any more physical confrontation is necessary here. They seem to have been recalled. I haven't seen anything like that," he admits with a shrug, crossing his arms and assuming a stance nearly parade-rest. "I appreciate everyone's assistance. I think we put a halt to it before it could become something worse. …as bad as llamas are," he adds, glancing over his shoulder towards the faire. Yep — all contained now.


Lambert gives Amber an honestly surprised look at being smacked by her. If anything, he looks bewildered, before he says to Kai, his long ears flicking "I'm used to girls hitting boys, it's okay, Kai - that's how a Maenad shows she's…you know…" He pauses, and goes suddenly red "…I don't wanna talk about it," he quickly says, and picks up a hunk of grass to wipe his face, before he says to Julie "Like. What do dinosaurs taste like?" The grass is dropped. "What's a llama," he asks suspiciously "Someone needs to teach those things English. I don't care if they are called - wait, wait. Strange told me about lamas once. Well, I don't think _that_ was very priestly." He then says to Steve "Okay?" And Lambert rubs his head, the fuzzy fleece on it bouncing "I mean, I'm just _saying_. Our high priest has pasterns and a fuzzy pelt, but at least he spits in a bowl."


Amber looks for a moment like she's about to get /really/ mad, then slowly gathers herself back together as Lambert goes jabbering. "I don't hold with people hurtin' animals for no reason, sir." She tells Kai with as much dignity as she can muster under the circumstance. "Ain't right. And Diz?", she calls, "You might wanna check on yours, ma'am. Make sure his knees is okay."


Julie hrms, watching the llamas go, including the one she and a handler had just un-snared. "I wouldn't really know, but I think those guys do. Anyway, I guess I ain't gonna tell Buddhist guys how to reincarnate or where to spit. Just, you know, maybe it's better than being a hood ornament on a city bus or something."


"Look at his eyes," Kai tells Amber. Lambert's eyes, it might be noted, have the squarish pupil often associated with goats. "And look here." He shows off Lambert's teeny-tiny horns. Lambert on display! "He's more than half-wild, himself." He claps Lambert on the shoulder. "I think you established who's in charge, though." Kevin remains quiet in the crook of Kai's arm, though he's wagging now that the threat of dreaded llamas is gone.


"That was really weird," Buck tells Steve, quietly. "Llamas in the park. I shouldn't be starteled, really. I fought zombies here once, with Doc Strange." As if Strange were just an army medic he knew, and not Sorcerer Supreme.


"Zombies? I think I remember hearing about them," Steve replies to his friend, in an equally soft tone. "With a doctor? What was he in the Army? Would I know him?" he asks.

Overhearing Kai's comment, he glances over at Lambert — and then does a double-take, his brows lifting. "…and I thought I'd seen it all," he whispers to himself. "Huh."


Lambert says to Amber "I try to never start anythin'. I mean, anything violent. But man, being spat on - though, uhhh…I should probably have realised they didn't have horns." He notes to her companion, Julie "Don't people up north lose like, windscreens to deer? Those big deer…what is it. Moose." Then he waves his hand at Kai "Good, it's me, me in charge. Ugh, I can't _wait_ until dad goes _home_. Then I can be in charge, properly, again. For real this time" Whatever that means, though he does mutter to Kai "Dad says I'm domesticated now." Or, more likely, 'domestic'. At 'zombies', though, Lambert's ears flick hard backwards, and he then says "Aren't parks for like, _relaxation_? Don't New Yorkers know how to relax? Zombies?" And then he shoots Steve and Bucky odd looks, before he says to Steve "Strange doesn't eat food." Which is an ominous sign for Lambert.


Amber does look into Lambert's eyes, and involuntarily takes a step backward. "Son of a bitch…", she says. "An' horns to boot? Damn….just when I thought today couldn't get any weirder." she sighs, then blushes, doffing her hat to Lambert. "Meanin' no offense, sir. An' my apologies for the smacking. That was out of line.", she says sincerely, offering the man her hand. To Julie, she nods and gives an 'all-clear' kind of wave with her hat.


Julie smirks to Amber, pauses to have a closer look at Lambert's eyes, herself, and hrmphs a bit. Says to Amber, "Well, this guy's pretty all right. Maybe you'll get used to stuff like this." She adds to the others. "My friend here's in town for the first time, you know how it is."


Kai gives Lambert a shoulder-squeeze. "I know," he says. "The sooner he's gone, the sooner you can stop bailing him out and get some time to yourself." Pat pat. He lets Kevin down, and the little dog waddles about within the radius of his leash, sniffing at people and gazing up at them as he wags his tail. Kevin's a lover, not a fighter.


Bucky blinks at Lamb. "He doesn't?" he asks, blankly. Not that dining with the Wizard has ever been a priority, but. Then he's adding to Lamb, "Yeah. There was something going on here that was making them. Better now, apparently." To Steve, "Nah. He's some kinna magician. Doctor Strange, and that's really his name. He's an actual doctor, too. Not just like some carnie quack. Gotta…I can' remember. He's a heart surgeon or something."


"He doesn't?" Steve echoes Buck halfway through the other man's sentence, before glancing over at his friend again. "…wait, so he's a doctor and a magician? An actual magician, not…card tricks?" Dubious Captain is dubious. "I bet the home office has intel on this guy. I should look into this."

Looking around at everyone gathered, he gives another winning smile, the kind probably recognizable even though he's in his civilian clothing. "Thanks again, folks. I bet the animal keepers are pleased for our efforts. If you'll excuse me, we were running an errand." A nod to both Julie and Amber along with, "M'am," and a passing wave to Kai and Lambert, and then the blond strides off after tilting his head, a gesture for Bucky to tag along if he feels so inclined.


Lambert says to Amber "Er, yeah, I'm a…you know, it doesn't matter. We're all people right?" He rubs the back of his neck "Er, yeah, don't worry about the smacking. Girls in my family come in like, two types. You know, winsome, sweet, good at music, and a tree? And the other kind are slappy. So I try not to take offence! Can I ask - you haven't ever _eaten anyone_, right?" A man needs to check. Then he says to Julie "Oh, yeah, my first time in New York, I was so confused, I don't get how the subways work, even now. My theory is everyone gets taxis because it's too hard to use the transportation system…" Oops. Someone gave away something about Strange. At the winning smile, Lambert looks charmed. Steve is just _such_ a nice American Boy.


"It is a bit of a muchness, ain't it?", Amber smiles to Lambert. "I thought that Seattle was huge…", she sighs. "Ate anybody? No, sir, not that I'm aware of. Though, truth be told, was always a mite doubtful about that cook's stew in Montana.", she winks playfully. "Happy to help, sir.", she says to Steve, tapping the brim of her hat. So, Diz, we got any chance of a pas-tra-mi sandwich?", she asks, the syllables tripping of her tongue like a foreign language. "Heard they were really tasty."


Julie nods, and winks to the others. "Yeah, I know a couple good delis for that, now that we've seen the wild lamas of Central Park and all that. You could send folks back home a postcard, too. "


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