1965-04-22 - Honey And Other Things
Summary: Kai meets Lambert in Mutant Town and helps him haul honey.
Related: None
Theme Song: None
lambert kai 


Kai steps out of the community center. Last minute plans have been made. The art show will open this week, and the potential recipients of either praise or backlash have been informed (also the ones getting whatever cash is raised from the event). He tidies his mod coat and puts a particularly suave hitch in his walk. Yeah, he's got rhythm, cool cats.


Lambert is standing outside an ethnic importer of food and spices - in this case, something Middle Eastern. He has a lollypop stick in his mouth and is sucking on it idly as he counts over dollar bills. It is easier to get land out near Mutant Town, and everyone needs food, right? Lambert is paying for something exotic in this day and age - pink river salt. He has a white fabric sack of it, and a bar with two baskets on either side for carrying everything. One basket is entirely full of fruits and vegetables, and right now Lambert is loading salt into the other, to join the coffee there. He glances up, noting that walk "Kai!"


Kai perks up, and he says, "Heeeey, Bertie. What's the good word, man?" He steps over to the satyrkin, looking at his baskets. "Down here looking for good stuff? I was just doing what I do." Whatever that is. Being omnipresent, apparently. "What's in the bag?"


"I'm getting ready for a spring celebration," says Lambert, who finishes paying and puts his back under the yoke. He stands with no sign of stress, and the baskets swing up "I should get you to carry these, asgardian," he comments, as he joins up next to Kai "You're stronger than I am." He is carrying pounds and pounds of produce, and now he says "I need to get honey next. There's someone who keeps bees on a rooftop here."


"I'm only Asgard adjacent," Kai says. "Do you know how hard it is to strut when you're carrying a yoke? Yeah, of course you do." He skims the rooftops. "Are they mutant bees?" he asks. "Maybe they produce mutagen honey. I'd pay thrice extra for that. What kind of spring celebration is it?"


"Well, I can skip while carrying this," says Lambert The Uncool, though he says it with a slight smile "You're pretty close. Heh. I don't know. I think they might just be bees. But this guy harvests in Spring before the flow comes, so it's time to get as much as I can." He has another basket strapped to his back, apparently full of jars, from the clinking "Aww, Kai. How old are you? I think you're too young to hear about this," Lambert teases.


Kai gives Lambert a faintly pained look. Come on, at least he should be able to catch secondhand cool, but no. He snorts and says, "I'm only around three hundred, so yeah, maybe." He holds out his arms. "Here, let me take this. You can't go all the way up to the roof hauling all this, you'll break something."


"Well," says Lambert, awkwardly "The thing is, Kai, I'm trying to you know…bulk up a little. Everyone's so muscled and fit, you know? And I'm…I don't know." The first time he has ever said anything like that. He does add "Help me carry things down. Up is fine, I've got legs built for this, trust me. Well, Spring is the time when most satyr babies get born. It's a celebration period, right? New life, people get married then - well, our version of married. It's less permanent. There's dancing, celebrations, brewing competitions…"


"What are you talking about? You're fine," Kai says. "Who's been filling your head with all this garbage about bulking up?" He waves a hand to indicate he will follow Lambert up the stairs, and Lambert can carry it all if he wants. "You're the most Lamberty person I know. It would be a tragedy if you changed."


Lambert certainly wants to head up the fire escape carrying things, but with the way the yoke works, he soon has to find himself zipping sideways here, then sideways there, then sideways here…It is just not built for New York! And by the third floor, Lambert admits suddenly "I might get your help carrying the jars down, you know, er, I mean. Damn." He coughs, and then he says "Look, it's not that…I guess it's seeing my dad again, and the photos of everyone back home. You've heard the phrase 'Like Greek Gods', right?"


"Who cares what they look like? I think you're cuter than your dad is anyway." He watches Lambert's precarious ascent, following after. "I'll carry your jars down, sure. Anyway, don't worry about any of those guys. You're an American, you don't have to be like them."


"You know that's…true," says Lambert, hopping up the last of the escape onto the roof. He probably should just have asked to lock everything away downstairs. Still, up here there is the sound of bees and quite a number of hives. A man is there, in a t-shirt and jeans, with a veiled hat on. He has scales, very light ones, almost dusty, all over his skin, and he eyes Kai a bit sideways. Lambert says "He's my porter."


Kai snorts and says, "Yeah, that's me." Bertie gets some side-eye. He then flips the fellow a wave. "I'm Kai. I just ran into Bertie downstairs, and we know each other, so… Oh! Bertie, I was wondering if you wanted to make me lunch after this." Hey, it never hurts to ask, right?


"What? Lunch? Okay," says Lambert, who is distracted. The faintly scaled man stands up and he says "My name's Conners. Here, I guess he's press ganged you, eh?" He grins and offers the elf a hand "Well, you have ears that say you're not a normie, I guess. Is he finally getting someone to help him with carrying things? Sometimes I think he's more pack-beast than goat." Lambert meanwhile is starting to divest himself of jars "Twenty nine…thirty…there. That's enough for the mead for the festival."


"Nah, not a normie, not me," Kai says with an air of pride. He sighs woefully and adds, "I'm just a helpful soul. I hate to see him carry all this himself. Someone as strong as I am, it would be no trouble at all, and I said to myself, Kai? It's time to be selfless." Never mind he has yet to carry a damn thing.


Conners leads them over to a few large tubs which have taps fitted to them, and he begins to fill the jars, quite quickly too "Uh huh," says the human with the little, fine scales "Well, you can be selfless on the way down, I guess?" he looks most amused by it all "I'll pack these with those dinky lil' cardboard seperators. It's going to cost you, this much all at once." Lambert nods, and pats his wallet, and then he says to Kai, innocently "You're always selfless!" The third basket is being quickly filled up with golden jars of sticky, sweet honey "He wanted to know if it was mutagenic honey." Conner raises an eyebrow "Wonder what that would do," he muses.


"I'd love to find out," Kai says. He makes his way to the third basket, ready to haul it like it was made of candy floss. "I guess for mutagenic honey you'd need mutant bees. With our luck, they'd have a three-foot wingspan, but you'd get a lot of honey. There would be so much tragic loss, though, not to mention not very many three-foot big flowers."


All the jars are sealed now, and Conners eyes Kai, a bit uncertainly "Are you sure you're…you know. Strong enough?" he says, half-holding his hands up. Lambert says "I think he is. I think he's stronger and faster than I am…" Time to see. That basket is heavy, and has loops for putting it on one's back. Evidently Lambert really does go out without a car, and with a yoke and three massive baskets to shop for things. He finishes paying Conners, who nods, and who then lifts his veil up. He has one set of compound eyes, and one tiny set of single - just like a moth. A couple of antennae as well "Be careful, honey's really heavy."


Kai bears the weight of thirty jars of honey as though it were nothing. "Oh yeah, this is fine," Kai says. "As long as none of that honey leaks on my coat. This is dry clean only." He flashes Connor a smile, unfazed by his features or, if anything, impressed. "I'll be careful," he says. Still, he shows no effort hauling it. "Okay, Lambert, let's go see about that lunch…"


"Not bad," Lambert has to admit, examining how Kai copes with this. They are large jars, and Kai is a svelte elf, but…apparently this is easy. Lambert then puts his own shoulders under the yoke and stands up. Now for the stairs again…with only minimal swearing! The moth mutant waves them away idly, and then moves back to continue working his hives with his veil up.

On the way down, Lambert is cautious and he breathes a sigh of relief when he hits the ground "…you know, it's a bit easier with someone carrying those," he is forced to admit "I probably should have done a few runs."


"Don't worry so much about changing yourself," Kai says. He falls into step with Lambert, ready to follow him wherever now that his business in Mutant Town is concluded. "We love you the way you are, Lambert-shaped and full of delicious recipes. If you want to carry things around because that's what you're into, fine, but don't do it so you can look like your dad."


"Yeah, I guess," says Lambert, colouring up. His face is already a rich tan, and the extra colour deepens the complexion. He grins, a bit shy about it "Thanks," he says "Oh, I don't mind you know, being able to show off my strength. I guess it was a bit of a shock - I hadn't seen my dad in a while, and you know, everyone just spent so much time _staring_ at him."


"I stared at him because he was weird," Kai says. "I mean he turned Elmo into a maenad. He seems rather careless. Not mean, just unconcerned about those around him. I like you. You're thoughtful and kind, and you'd never turn any of us into weird things even if you could. You're respectful. I like that way better than your dad's abs."


"Weird? Oh! Yes, he did. And Lindon into a satyr," says Lambert as they walk along the streets together with their loads, effortlessly carrying what should take five or six men to do so "He's like that, yes. He's one of the worst with it, I suppose. For a lot of us, we can recover from damage, or take all kinds of odd hits and we're used to violence and solving things through competition. It means that we can be really careless with humans - human hearts. Human bodies. Human minds…" He frowns a bit "Some of it was fun, back home, but yeah. I don't know. Seems like it's sort of short term, you know? Treating people like that can backfire. I mean, look at some of the mutant problems."


"Sounds not unlike Asgardians," Kai says. "Though not quite so bad, and not turning people into things all the time. Carelessness with humans, though. It's hard to remember just how breakable they are. And it does backfire. A human is weak, but get enough of them together, they're dangerous. Look at all the different people coming together, saying they've had enough. The establishment is going to find out just how much damage people in numbers can do."


"That is something that worries me," Lambert says, glancing at Kai "The idea that people will get angry enough to…you know _do_ something." Now they are heading out of Mutant Town "I mean, the fact is, no one chooses to be born a mutant, right? Or even what you or I am. But some of my people - and yours, and theirs - will do things to humans just because they can. Or because, I suppose, evil comes in all forms." He reaches down into one of his huge baskets and gets a carrot out to munch "And one thing I'm not sure humans are good at doing is telling the difference between me and Stupid Cousin Grigos."


"As does carelessness," Kai says. "People hurt other people all the time because they're simply not able or willing to put themselves in the other person's shoes. It's easy enough to tell someone on the street to get a job when you've never lacked for one, you know what I mean?" He pats Lambert's shoulder. "I know you don't want to hear this, but that's why it might be good you've got the humanish features that you do. You don't look as much like Stupid Cousin Grigos."


"That too," says Lambert "I probably shouldn't have tried to headbutt that llama thing. But it's my default, and…well. I could have killed it." He glances at Kai, and despite himself, he has to nod. Because Kai? Is right "Yes. I look mostly human. I mean, you've seen my dad. And my grandfather, well. He doesn't even look part _goat_. He looks part _God_. Entirely a different and almost scarier thing, eh?" He frowns a bit, thinking "Kai? Loki…what _is_ Loki?"


"Yeah, it was just a poor mortal llama, but I don't think you hurt it," Kai says, as if he knows what the hell a llama is outside of 'those things from the park.' When Lambert asks what Loki is, Kai's default expression is warmth, then he goes all thoughtful. "He's an Asgardian prince," he says. "Asgardians are strong and durable, they have healthy constitutions, and they have such long lifespans, that mortals who are born, grow up, live and die to see someone utterly unchanging, wielding the power that Asgardians do, think they're gods. Maybe they might as well be. Loki will live for thousands of years and never lose his youth. I could live for maybe a couple thousand but would grow old while he stays young. That's just how Asgardians are, especially the royals."


"But you're an elf, I thought elves were immortal," says Lambert, who then admits "A couple of thousand years, you may as well be, to me. I guess I'll probably live a bit longer than normal, like, maybe to a hundred or a hundred and twenty? But you'll still…you won't even have really aged, I guess, when I pass away…" He is considering this for the very first time, Lambert is, and to the point, his gait slows and gradually stops "…hmm."


"Compared to mortals we are," Kai says. "We stay unchanging through generations of humans. This Empire will rise and fall and I'll still be young in the eyes of my people. It's just that, compared to Asgardians, our lives are… hmm, maybe not short, but less long." He purses his lips and gives Lambert's arm a squeezze. "Don't talk about passing away. We have today, and we should be living it."


"I guess I'd always thought of _my_ people as long lived, but the further we get away from grandfather, the faster we age," Lambert says to Kai, and then he starts walking again "So do your people come from the same place that Asgardians do?"


"More or less," Kai says. "Asgard is more glorious and grand, but Alfheim's natural beauty is imcomparable. We're neighbors, though our lands are distinct. I guess we sort of owe fealty to Asgard, or at least a nice and thoughtful realization that they could crush us if they wanted to, and that keeps things nice and friendly."


"So what makes an elf an elf?" asks Lambert. By now they are leaving Mutant town, and heading into the area where Saganaki will soon be here. Lambert says to Kai "Do you have your own language? And. Can I see what Alfheim is like?"


Kai says, "We speak the same language more or less," Kai says. "But we're just… we're just us. I'm an elf because my mother and father are elves, as were their mothers and fathers before them. We're the native born of Alfheim, even though I'm technically English. I was born in London, then we moved to Scotland." He strokes his chin, nodding as he says, "Maybe you can come to Alfheim with us next time we go. I want to bring you our bees if they're compatible with Midgard.""


"Yes! That is what I would like," says Lambert, with a sudden, bright beam "And who knows, do you think I can help you with your…parents? I mean. I know that there is a great complexity and I'm not sure how the legalities work, but…the thing is. You are practically married to one of the Princes of Asgard. Won't they…perhaps take your good character into consideration?"


"Or they might fly into a rage because I've managed to captivate one of their noble sons," Kai says. "We really won't know until we talk to them, and I've been avoiding that." He offeres Lambert a small, lame smile. "However, if they don't entirely disapprove, maybe they'll let my mum out. It's my father they think is the ringleader."


Lambert spots someone selling pretzels, and flags down a couple, then catches back up, handing one across to Kai "…you know, you haven't…ever really told me the story behind all of that."


Kai takes the pretzel with a quiet, "Aw, thank you." He munches as he thinks, then swallows and says, "My mum's a lady in some fine house, and my da's an outlaw. They eloped because my gran would have never given their union her blessing. One thing leads to another, they stole something from the royals of Asgard, then fled to Midgard. I was an accident, but they were decent parents. Til they got caught."


Lambert says uncertainly "Oh, so it's the Asgardian royals who have htem locked up? Or the elfin ones? And your father - he was always an outlaw? Or did something go…you know. Just not quite right for him? It's not something I'm unfamiliar with. Things just….not working out the way you'd hope."


"I'm sure he wasn't always an outlaw, but he was well into outlawing when he met my mom," Kai says. "Things definitely didn't work out the way they planned when they got arrested. Now they're in separate cells in an Asgardian prison." He sighs quietly. "I miss them both, but if I had to pick one to free, I'd want it to be my mum, and I think my da would agree."


"Maybe we can work on it…?" says Lambert hesitantly. He does not know anything about how Asgardian-alien prisons work. Soon enough, they are at Saganaki "I hope you can write letters to them - I can cook for them -"


Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License